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lovelosslove

by Iris Lune

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1.
Radio Friendly I wash my mouth with soap every day walk on eggshells, pretend to play (your game) Is your mind in the right place, right space, right time? When you open your mouth, does your heart rhyme? I wanna scream all the things I have to say Whatever it takes to make you listen before this goes away Don’t wanna pretend that I like you anymore It hurts me to my core when I think of all the time I’ve lost Words unlock the door, release the truth won’t lie I’m not radio friendly, tune in to your favorite show the host is gone and the station’s closed but I am here to tell you what I know I tried so hard to keep it cool but this rage is filling up my lungs, it’s gathering in pools Is your heart in the right place, right space, right mind? When you open your eyes, what will you find? All your people are standing on the shore, their hearts are shut, they won’t answer anymore. And I am here to tell you all how I almost lost myself to a bucket full of stories of somebody else’s scars Words unlock the door, release the truth won’t lie I’m not radio friendly, tune in to your favorite show the host is gone and the station’s closed but I am here to tell you what I know Words unlock every bolted door, echo back where you stood before, be gentle cause they never fade away I’m not radio friendly, tune in to your favorite show the host is gone and the station’s closed but I am here to tell you what I know
2.
Open Wound 04:16
Open Wound Feel your body next to mine I’m reaching out, just give me a sign Are you afraid to look me in the eye? Or is it just that you’re sick of trying? History is what it is and we wanna be on the good side of it, All the things we think we choose - born into a game we’re sure to lose We’re living in a box, living in a box, living in a box Do you ever feel like you’re alone? Don’t know how to be on your own? I will be here with you, getting lost and falling through Cuz I’m living in a box too Strangers lying on a bed Drowning in all the things we’ve said I can taste the silence in the room You know, sometimes, love is just an open wound History is what it is and we wanna be on the good side of it, All the things we think we choose - born into a game we’re sure to lose We’re living in a box, living in a box, living in a box Do you ever feel like you’re alone? Don’t know how to be on your own? I will be here with you, getting lost and falling through Cuz I’m living in a box too
3.
June 03:42
June I have come to pray in this forest of mine, where the skies are thick with emerald greens branches point in all directions and tree roots are endless snakes in the grass, echoing the changes, and time that has passed June, You are pale and full like a shooting star I will catch you when you fall into summer I’ve come to pray for you under this haven of birds, where colors melt into soft grounds and silky buds are tinted with sunlight playing with what is lost and what is yet to be found June, You are pale and full like a shooting star I will catch you when you fall into summer
4.
Summer Blue 03:53
Summer Blue I need more time before I can let us go They say sorry for your loss but how can I lose something that is part of my soul An extension of my arm My heart My whole body and mind Teach me how to breath under water And to swim above the sea I’m losing my grip on reality It’s weighing me down, all this gravity I need more proof that you are really gone before I can let us go Summer is blue like the chair in your study back home, Still waiting for you And all that I know is twisting around me, breaking my insides And all that I am is nothing without you Teach me how to breath under water And to swim above the sea I’m losing my grip on reality It’s weighing me down, all this Teach me how not to sink under water And to fly above the sea It’s tearing me down, all this gravity I need to know that you’ll be ok that we’ll be ok that I’ll be ok
5.
Haven 02:59
Haven Sister, sister Don’t you cry I will sing you a lullaby Sister, sister When the sirens sing I will hold you close to me The world keeps turning Laying down its twisted jokes And the rivers keep filling with grief and hope I will find you a place to rest your head A quiet place to hold As the world keeps turning And we grow old Oooooooo I will hold you close to me Sister, sister Don’t you cry I will sing you a lullaby The world keeps turning Laying down its twisted jokes And the rivers keep filling with grief and hope I will find you a place to rest your head A quiet place to hold As we keep turning And the world grows old Picture trees of oranges Under honey coated skies Can you feel my arm around you? I will hold you till we’re both ready to fly
6.
Hiding Behind Glass Try hiding behind glass with one foot on the ground and the other circling in mid air everyone’s looking, they’re shaking their heads like they do when they read yesterday’s news and watch the whole world burning down Try hiding behind glass wearing nothing but your blues and your muddy eyes The earth around you is shaking like a madman who can’t get a break, and all you’re holding onto are your own mistakes Higher, take me higher I might’ve drifted away but now I’m back on the shore, counting all the hours I’ve got till nighttime Higher, take me higher I must’ve jumped out the window but now I’m coming back in through the front door Tried hiding behind glass but everyone just saw right through me so I left me there Look, now I am happy, I put on my big smile and keep everything boxed up for someone else to open another time Higher, take me higher I might’ve drifted away but now I’m back on the shore, counting all the hours I’ve got till nighttime Higher, take me higher I might’ve jumped out the window but now I’m coming back in through the front door
7.
Note to Self 04:15
Note to Self Look at the mirror, what do I see? Stretch marks of reality Sunken eyes that cut deep into the soul, weighing it down with all they’ve seen and tried to hold Oh, how hard it is to bend light when everything is broken and nothing’s right These narrow places surface in my mind They trap me in a room, far from what I’ve left behind Won’t you hold me Don’t let me go I need, I bleed, I need you It’s the same old world but with crooked rules How do I hold onto you? What we found in the sand: shards of light, butterfly wings, an empty shell full of sea sound When you hold it close you can hear the waves swaying back and forth, back and forth I look at you and there is aching in your heart Transparent walls and no windows, and your chocolate eyes are mud pies They’re thick with games and childlike gazes Thick with love-loss-love Won’t you hold me Don’t let me go I need, I bleed, I need you It’s the same old world but with crooked rules How do I hold onto you?
8.
Bottled Up 03:52
Bottled Up It’s been a year since it snowed and half of me is tied up in rags Lately I’ve been having dreams of breaking out of this mirage You pushed me over the edge but I am still hanging on I brought a little souvenir from the bottom of the well, where nothing makes a sound Well, if I stick with me I might learn a thing or two hell, still trying to figure it out what it means to be me, what it means to be you Tame this monster, keeps haunting me Bottled up with no room to breathe Feed this hunger, it’s killing me Bottled up, time to break free It’s been a while since you left and half of me is still a child Caught up in fantasies, half baked truths and pretty lies It pushed me over the edge but somehow I am hanging on Never thought I’d be so brave with all my insides splashed like roadkill Tame this monster, keeps haunting me Bottled up with no room to breathe Feed this hunger, it’s killing me Bottled up, time to break free And the cars, they keep driving by They won’t stop just because I need them to You kept a little souvenir From the bottom of my heart where nothing makes a sound
9.
Lukewarm 03:28
Lukewarm You called to say you were hanging by a thread and when it broke you woke half conscious, wishing you were dead Your voice was half asleep floating in a haze I heard the disappointment cracking your glaze All the voices in your head Are they still there? Or are you left alone hanging in mid air? Did you cry when he touched you All those years ago Do you cry when you think of it Or hide it far below “Lukewarm, Hear me now You’ve worn me out Worn me down Everything’s so faded, wish I was six feet underground Lukewarm Let me out before it’s too late” I had a dream, you were dying You let me know you were safe for now, you’re on the shore but it may be too late Didn’t want to be a burden but couldn’t live without the night I wanna step towards you now, hand you the light All the voices in your head Are they still there? Or have they left you, drifting through the air? Did you cry when he touched you All those years ago Do you cry when you think of it Or hide it far below “Lukewarm, Hear me now You’ve worn me out Worn me down Everything’s so faded, wish I was six feet underground Lukewarm Let me out before I leave no sound no sound Wish I was six feet underground Lukewarm Let me out before it’s too late”
10.
Midas 04:08
Oh, Midas, you’re so sweet Show me how you conquer it All these wasted battles under your heavy belt Oh, Midas, such sweet sweet lies Turning into landmines With your golden touch There’s not much room for love I heard them whisper under a crescent moon The reeds are dancing, they twist as we burn Will we start over once you’ve had your fun The earth is turning but its heart is numb What have we lost in the rain? Has it been worth what we’ve gained? Where do we go from here? When everything is so unclear Oh Midas, what a game you’ve dragged us in with all your blame Even gold can melt under the sun Oh Midas, what mighty ears You can’t make them disappear One way or another the world will find out I heard them whisper under a crescent moon The reeds are dancing, they twist as we burn Will we start over once you’ve had your fun The earth is turning but its heart is numb What have we lost in the rain? Has it been worth what we’ve gained? Where do we go from here? When everything is so unclear
11.
Treasure 03:48
Treasure Street lights are dancing Shifting their glow Oak trees are humming Soft and low Stars are gold fish Swimming through the night And your voice is coming through Memories clenching Their teeth in the dark Old habits, they die hard I’m drinking your name Like sap down my throat But when I swallow, it’s dry I’ve tried so hard to let it go That I almost forgot to hold it close I’ve tried so hard to bring the morning sun Shadows are melting like dew drops They’re glittering I’ve tried so hard to let the darkness go Night is resting as I hold your hand Moonflowers blooming Their hearts expand Our city, it’s floating Stretched beneath our feet And your smile is coming through I’ve tried so hard to let it go That I almost forgot to hold it close I’ve tried so hard to bring the morning sun Shadows are melting like dew drops They’re glittering I’ve tried so hard to let the darkness go
12.
Debris 03:44
V1 All I remember is a shiver slipping down my spine Your mouth pressing gently to mine and the waves beneath us crashed breaking on the towering stones splitting rays of sun on the shore The breeze was spilling memories We laughed, salt sticking to our cloths The water felt so sweet with the sand between our toes, erasing everything we used to know CH1 Memories talk, memories walk, memories true, memories false, memories washed away It’s ok to let em hold you, hold you down Memories know, memories show all the scratches on your soul It’s the debris that weighs you down V2 Bottled in a capsule, melted romance in a jar When you think that you have it turns out you went too far What I don’t remember is what I want to forget We were young, speaking tongues, thought we could slide through side doors unnoticed But words have consequences They’ll catch up with you, all those little lies CH2 Memories talk, memories walk, memories true, memories false, memories washed away It’s ok to let em hold you, hold you down Memories know, memories show all the scratches on your soul It’s the debris that weighs you down

about

lovelosslove is dedicated to my mother, Irit, who was the kindest and most beautiful person I’ve ever known. She passed away in February 2018. Losing her split my heart in two and created an incredibly distinct line between everything before and after that day. I’ve been trying to make sense of it all ever since, trying to figure out how to live in a world in which she is no longer physically present. Writing music during this time has been my northern star, my healer, my therapy. It made space inside of me to dig deeper and connect both to myself and to her; it allowed me to love intently and to notice subtleties around me that I’d never seen before. There is darkness and grief, yes, but also light and hope. There are blue-gray summers and open wounds but also treasures and havens, waiting to be found. There is a lot of loss and a lot of love. So much love.

credits

released June 19, 2020

Lyrics: Ella Joy Meir
Co-Lyricist: Mikhal Weiner
Music: Asher Kurtz & Ella Joy Meir
Production: Asher Kurtz
Co-Production on ‘Midas’ & ‘Debris’: Ella Joy Meir
Vocal Production: Ella Joy Meir & Asher Kurtz
Mixing: Charlie Van-Kirk
Mastering: Joe LaPorta at Sterling Sounds
Recording Studio: Greylock Studios
Recording Engineer: Ben Talmi
Vocals, Synths: Ella Joy Meir
Guitars, Synths, Drum Programming: Asher Kurtz
Bass, Moog: Aaron Liao
Drums: Angelo Spampinato

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Iris Lune New York

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